I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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