So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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