...so i touched it.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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