I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
