Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
