he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize