i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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