Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Found the puke drawer
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize