We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
