idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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