Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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