So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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