uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
