Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
