I heard we made out
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
