My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
