so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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