Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
