and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
