If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize