when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
