I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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