I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
