i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize