The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
