we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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