Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize