i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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