Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
