i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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