Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
