there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Drake has all the answers
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
