It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
