I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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