Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
