i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
