i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
