Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize