good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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