what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
