Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
