BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
