i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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