a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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