i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Randomize