before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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