yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize