I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
