I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
