Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
