We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
