the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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