wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
