i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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