I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize