She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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