This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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