The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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