I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
