I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
