if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Who died my cat blue again?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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