I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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