it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
