How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
