I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
