JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
and you fell through a lawn chair
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
