i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize