omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just want nice things and good sex
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
