So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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