lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
